Get The Hell Out of Your Life

Robins Story: I Can't, He Can, I'll Let Him

October 20, 2022 Ron Meyers,Robin Areander Season 3 Episode 32
Get The Hell Out of Your Life
Robins Story: I Can't, He Can, I'll Let Him
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Robin's Story: An amazing lady who dealt with, domestic violence, drinking and a hate for herself. She shares the steps she took to discover her identity in Christ. Today, she is healthy and living to share God's grace with the world!

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Speaker 1:

The following program is sponsored by Ron Meyers Ministries.

Speaker 2:

It's time now to get the hell out of your life. A weekly broadcast with real people sharing real struggles and offering real hope. Today's show will encourage, inspire and empower you to face life's challenges with a bold confidence and renewed hope. Now let's join our host, ron Meyers. The Provoder.

Speaker 3:

Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you today. Another great episode of Get the Hell Out of your Life. Now, if you've never heard this show before, let me tell you what it's about. I interview people that share stories of desperation. I mean these folks had some serious hell in their life and in a moment of desperation they called out and said Jesus, if you are real, I need help. And 100% of the time Jesus showed up and took the hell out of their life. I mean these are eyewitness accounts of the power, the redemption, forgiveness and unconditional love of Jesus. I mean these get you excited about life, knowing that it doesn't matter what you're going through in life. There is a solution, there is an answer, and today's story is from Robin, robin Arunder, who tells about a life of just really no self-esteem, no self-image, just trapped in this cycle of drinking to numb the pain and crazy relationships, domestic violence. One day she got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Robin, I'm so glad that you came by the studios today. So, robin Arunder, what is your story?

Speaker 4:

Okay, I'm excited. I grew up in a small town, in Simpson County. I always felt different about myself. I, you know, I couldn't. I couldn't put a nail on my head what it was, but I just didn't feel like I belonged anywhere. I, you know, I didn't. I tried so hard to make friends and you know, I just felt like I was different from all of them. I don't know what it was. I grew up in church. It was in the youth group, children's. My mom always took us to church. She was an angel, you know. I could remember riding to church and she'd say devil, get behind me, devil. And I didn't understand what she meant. Until later on in life I saw my first relationship. My first marriage was abuse of relationship. It was physical, it was mental. In that relationship I developed an eating disorder. I felt that I needed to look a certain way, act a certain way. You know I never had self-esteem for myself. I went to treatment for that. I got out of the relationship. Then I met my kids dads no, ellen, nick and we stayed together for 13 years and you know, it was a pretty good marriage. We went to church, we were there every time the doors open soccer games, softball games. It was all about the kids. But I realized later that you know I was using them to fill my void in life, making everything about them and, you know, not dealing with my own issues. My kids are precious to me. They love me. Today they have been there for me In 13 years. Later we got divorced. Within five years I had my mom die. My men all die. I lost a little girl, lani Gray. She lives for 20 minutes. And let me just go back a little bit. Before that marriage I found out that I was an alcoholic. I was drinking way too much, but during this marriage there was no drinking at all. But after we got divorced I thought, you know, I can have just that one drink With all the important people in my life that have passed away. You know I looked to them for advice, for comfort, and now I just felt kind of on my own. We were divorced there I turned away from the church that we went into. I had my kids and I just I turned to the bottle to ease my comfort and to bring some kind of comfort and pain.

Speaker 3:

Boy. That had to be a vicious cycle of life, because every day you wake up there's more pain. But to numb the pain you take a drink and you go on and on. How long did this last?

Speaker 4:

And it was to numb the pain. I was not a partier or anything like that, it was strictly to numb the pain. It lasted on and off for probably 10 more years. I got in another domestic violence relationship and we lived together and I was so ashamed and embarrassed of that relationship because, you know, I put my kids, the ones that I love the most, I put them to the wayside. I just I didn't know how to handle life and I went about it in a bad way instead of asking for help. You know, I always tried to be perfect and I always tried to put on a persona on the outside and have a smile, but deep down inside I was just. I hated myself, I was lonely on the inside. You know, I was just. I was hurting. I was hurting.

Speaker 3:

I read in part of your story that you lived. I think this was on your third relationship, my last one Kind of like on a little desert island or something. It wasn't a desert island, but you were isolated. There was only one way in and one way out. Tell us about that.

Speaker 4:

This last and final guy that I was with. I met him on a date in sight, you know, and I think, well, I know, yeah, I just didn't want to be alone. I didn't trust the decisions that I made. I needed somebody to tell me what to do and I didn't want to be alone. So I, you know, I said, well, I guess I'll be miserable rather than being alone. I just didn't have the courage and the faith that I needed, always knew I was a Christian, always knew that God was there for me and I always knew that he could take the burden away from me. I just could not make that, that step into giving it all over to him. I don't know if it was a control thing or or what it was, but I just couldn't give myself completely to God and do what I needed to do. Yes, we were isolated, and if he didn't want to go out, we didn't go out, go to town or anything like that, and I put on a good front with my friends and family.

Speaker 3:

But one day you had somebody come pick you up in a boat because your life was about to change, wasn't it?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, I, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew that I did not want to live the rest of my life this way. I knew that there had to be something more. And I had been talking with the women at the Gulf Coast Women's Center for nonviolence and you know they said Robin, when you're ready, come on, come on. So I called him and I said I'm coming. I had somebody come pick me up in a boat. I packed my suitcase of what I could pack. I got in my old raggedy car and I made it to the shelter and I can't tell you the good that they do for other people, ms Patricia, there they are wonderful. They loved me until I could love myself. They welcomed me with open arms and the main thing about it is I felt safe. I felt really safe.

Speaker 3:

You said something that's just really a powerful statement. They loved you until you could love yourself. So you really had this low self image and, as you said a little bit ago, no self esteem. All of a sudden, life was starting to change. You were starting to feel good about yourself. You knew that God had created you with a purpose and a destiny.

Speaker 4:

It didn't happen overnight. There was so many things. I kept on drinking. They got me a grant for my own apartment and things were looking up. I had found me a job. You know I've always had really good jobs, decent jobs, and you know I was just thankful to get whatever job I could. It was so humbling to me. I got involved in alcoholics synonymous. The first three steps are I can't, he can, I'll let him. I got into therapy. The therapy was the biggest motivator for me. When I walked in that room, she asked me. She said what do you love about yourself? And I promise you, tears just came streaming down my eyes because I was like lady, I don't even like myself. I don't know how you could think I love myself. And I do want to say this January 2, 2019. This was before I went to the therapist. I had ended up in the hospital, real sick from drinking, and I had seen what it did to my family. And that was when I got out of the hospital. I got on my knees and I said God, please take this from me, please take this desire, please help me. You know, it's like they say, just having faith of a mustard seed. That is all it took and my life started to change. And getting back in the therapy, you know I was thinking how in the world is therapy going to make me feel better? You know it's not a quick fix, it's not medicine. You know that I can just take and start feeling better. But she made me do things like write post-it notes with put goals and all this kind of stuff. And you know, when we first started out I said, well, I did it, but it didn't mean anything to me. And she said keep doing it. And I did and I promise you that therapy and giving it all to God it, it filled that void in that hole.

Speaker 3:

End listeners. She is a glowing young lady and right after the break you're going to hear what she's doing now in her testimony of God's faithfulness, mercy and, most important, of forgiveness.

Speaker 2:

You're listening to get the hell out of your life with your host, ron Myers. Real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Speaker 1:

We would like to express our gratitude to coffee news for their support of this program. Are you tired of scrolling through the same old news feeds every morning? Then switch things up with coffee news. Our publication is filled with interesting stories, brain teasers and uplifting quotes that are sure to brighten your day, and now you can access coffee news anytime, anywhere, by visiting our website. So, whether you're sipping your morning coffee at your favorite cafe or browsing online from your desk, we've got you covered. Start your day off right with coffee news at readcoffeenewsonlinecom.

Speaker 5:

What's your story? We're looking for stories of hope and overcoming life struggles with God's grace. Our story validates God's law of mercy, restoration and forgiveness. We want to help you share your story with the world. Visit our website, thepromoterorg, and click on the Share your Story link and submit your story. Your testimony of God's amazing grace will change a person's destiny for eternity.

Speaker 3:

Today's guest is Robin Arunder. Robin was a drinker who had everything going against her, but then she fell to her knees. Now this segment she's going to tell you what God has been doing in her life and also to give some encouragement to others out there. So, robin, life is starting to turn around. You have you and your children, and so tell us what life is like now.

Speaker 4:

You know I've learned so much about myself and I, you know, I was in all those domestic violence relationships and I took time off. I said, you know, I've got to work on myself and learn to love myself before I will be good for somebody else. And that's what I did. And now when the next guy comes along, guy willing, you know He'll be lucky.

Speaker 3:

He'll be very lucky. I love it. I love it and listen in your story. I'm going to share some things that you shared and then you can elaborate on them. You said there are numerous things I have learned along the way and so many tools I can use Now. I think this is great wisdom that you can share with others. One of them is hurt people hurt. What do you mean?

Speaker 4:

I mean, you know, I know in all my domestic violence relationships you know they were narcissists, they were hurting themselves. You know I know times when I'm, when I hurt, I lash out at other people that didn't even deserve it. You know we hurt and we just want to make everybody else around us miserable and hurt too.

Speaker 3:

You also write God is still in the miracle business.

Speaker 4:

Absolutely. Look if he can, if he can change my heart the way he did and I see miracles every day that are only described by God things, only described by God things. You know, I can't emphasize enough what that void that he filled in my heart that was missing forever, forever, and only him could do it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, only him, I agree. Another one you wrote I can only keep what I can give away.

Speaker 4:

What I'm saying by that is, you know, if, if I want to keep myself is spiritually fit, then I have to give that away. I have to be good to other people. I have to consider other people besides myself. I have to promote grace. Sometimes that's hard with some people when they don't act the way I want them to act, but I have to say you know, God gave me an imaginable grace, and who am I not to give grace to other people?

Speaker 3:

You know that's so well put. I call it the boomerang effect. You know what we give comes back to us.

Speaker 4:

I can guarantee you in this works every time. If I'm having a bad day, if I step out of myself and do something for somebody else, that bad, that bad day gets better instantly.

Speaker 3:

Here's one I love Don't stop before the miracle happens.

Speaker 4:

That's one of the sands that we say in alcoholics anonymous. I'm involved that, that too, you know. My first sponsor told me, as long as you're breathing, that's there's a chance. And I hold that with me. You know, when I first got sober and first started getting in recovery, you know, if I made it through the day, that was in a consciousness and that was good for that day. It was progress, not perfection.

Speaker 3:

I like that. That's good. You are definitely a wiser person than you were 10 or 15 years ago, aren't you?

Speaker 4:

Oh, absolutely. But it's nothing that I did, I promise. I just had to become willing.

Speaker 3:

And one of the other ones you wrote. I fall short every day on these describing the things we just talked about, but by recognizing them I get a chance to make things right and hopefully share my experience, strength and hope with someone suffering.

Speaker 4:

Wow, that's right.

Speaker 3:

So somebody out there right now that may be hurting, suffering in an abusive relationship, you can talk to them now one on one. Robin, what would you tell them?

Speaker 4:

I promise you things get better. There is a way out. It is not hopeless. God will turn that into hopeful. Whatever your situation is, I promise you ask for help. You know I never asked for help and until I did ask for help because I learned that when I get those feelings out there they lose that power over me. They don't control me anymore when I talk to somebody else about what's going on in my life.

Speaker 3:

So is life good. Are you happy?

Speaker 4:

I am happy. Yeah, I am happy.

Speaker 3:

How's your children?

Speaker 4:

Oh gosh. You know they have been through so much and you know I had a lot of guilt and shame. It took me a while to get over that guilt and shame because they're the most important people in my life and you know I never thought that I would treat them the way that I did. And you know I stayed stuck in that. I stayed stuck in that guilt and shame and it was only until I got it out and I had to forgive myself. You know, when they say forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person, that's true. I can't afford to hold resentments. You know I have to face it head on. They have just they love me today. They love me and I've told them. I said you know you have every reason not to love me, to hate me, things I've done, and they say you're supposed to love your mama. And you know we have such a good relationship.

Speaker 3:

So, robin, what's the future? What do you hope to do one day with this new life?

Speaker 4:

You know, if I could quit work and talk about God all day long, I would. I just, he's been that good to me and it makes me happy to talk about God Now. I have bad days. I do. I have some bad days, but the good days far outweigh the bad days.

Speaker 3:

Well, I think everybody, if they're honest with themselves. We all have bad days, but you and I and others out there, we know who's in control of the day, and when we say God, I need your help, he comes in and he helps, doesn't?

Speaker 4:

he, he does, he does.

Speaker 3:

Wow. Well, you know, the title of this show is get the hell out of your life. So now my question to you how does a person get the hell out of their life?

Speaker 4:

They take the first step, they admit that there's a problem, they acknowledge it. I can do anything once I acknowledge it. I have learned and it's taken many lessons to get out of the problem and get in the solution, because there is a solution to every problem.

Speaker 3:

I sent you a copy of my story. You did and you were telling me and I'm not doing this for any compliments, but you said that helped give you some courage to share your story.

Speaker 4:

It did it, did Y'all. I am not a reader. When he sent me this book I was like, oh my goodness, I'm good and I read it. I read it in two days and it's his powerful story of you know he. A lot of times he kept getting knocked down, knocked down, but he had that faith in God and he just kept on moving. And you know he has accomplished so much and the story inspired me that you know, if I lost every cent today, it would still be okay as long as I trust in God.

Speaker 3:

Well, you and I shared something you know the secret to everything in life it's not even a secret, it's that we just can't quit. We have to have faith in God, hold onto his hand and, through all those storms and all those trials and tribulations, just keep holding on, because he'll pull us through. You're stronger today because of the hell that you had in your life. You got the hell gone and now, as you said, you just want to talk about God all the time.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, that's what he's done to me. You know, I've learned today to base things on facts, not feelings. You know, when something arises, I have to get in the facts because those feelings will get in the way all the time.

Speaker 3:

Well, before we go, would you pray for us, for the listeners out there.

Speaker 4:

Sure, I'd be glad to Our Heavenly Father. We just come to you today, lord, and I just pray for anybody out there that's struggling. Lord, you already know their needs. You already know who they are. You've got your arms just waiting for them, lord. I just pray that they'll just make that simple step and come to you. I pray for all the people who are hurting. Lord, I know what it feels like, I know what it hurts and I know what it feels like to be at the very bottom and to just feel like the worst person in the world. I pray that, lord, that you will just lift them up, and I just thank you for doing that already. Lord, in your precious name, we pray Amen.

Speaker 3:

Amen, Robin. Hey, listen, if somebody wants to send you a thumbs up or just a message, they heard you are you on social media.

Speaker 4:

I am on Facebook.

Speaker 3:

Okay. Robin Orender and how do you spell that last name?

Speaker 4:

A-R-E-N-D-E-R.

Speaker 3:

Orender, orender. Well, robin, good, I think somebody will reach out to you. You are a blessing and thank you for sharing your story. And you just got one of your prayers answered to talk about God through radio and podcasts that go all over the world. So, thank you God is so pleased with you.

Speaker 4:

Thank you, I appreciate it. I was a little nervous and I probably stuttered some words, but that's okay, it's not about me.

Speaker 3:

But you know, the tagline for this show is real stories, real struggles and real hope, and you just shared some real hope. Thank you, Robin.

Speaker 4:

Thank you. I just want to say I've had some great friends too.

Speaker 3:

You want to mention them? Go ahead.

Speaker 4:

Oh God, Just some great friends that have come into my life.

Speaker 3:

We all need friends, don't we?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, and they're true friends. I didn't know how to be a friend. I had to learn how to be a friend too, and they helped me along the way.

Speaker 3:

Amen. Well, God bless you and look forward to check in with you again soon and we'll see what's happening in the life of Robin Arendelle.

Speaker 4:

Okay, I'm excited.

Speaker 2:

You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life with your host, ron Myers. Real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Speaker 7:

Jesus, jesus. What do you think of when you hear that name? Jesus? Love, life, hope, joy, peace, friend, companion, confident Savior. The God of the Universe lives, and he lives in the form of a man. That man is Jesus Christ, for God so loved the world that he gave His only Son that whosoever believes in Him shall have eternal life. Jesus, what do you think of when you hear that name? Jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus, jesus. What will you do with Him? He knocks on the door of your heart. When you open that door, your life will change forever. It came that the world may have life and may have it more abundantly. Ask Jesus into your heart and discover what living is all about. Call 1-888-NEED-HIM.

Speaker 1:

Ron will be back in a moment to wrap up today's conversation. We want to encourage you today with God's promise to you. It comes from the book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. That's God's promise to you when you choose to commit your plans and future to Him. Now back to Ron.

Speaker 3:

Well, friends, wasn't Robin's story an encouragement? She reminded us that life is about progress, not perfection. Every day is a journey and every day, as long as we are breathing, we have an opportunity to become everything we were created to become. We have to trust in the finished work of Jesus, which means total forgiveness. You are free, with no guilt, no condemnation, to become the person he created you to be. It's about you and Jesus, nothing else. You have an opportunity today to take that one step forward, like Robin did, and she talked about reading my story. We all have a story and I put my story in print a few years ago because I felt Jesus telling me become transparent. Share your story with others so they will understand that it doesn't matter who we are. We all have a story and our story can encourage someone else out there to take that step of faith. Go to my website, the promoterorg. I would love to send you a copy of my story, no strings attached. It is all free, friends. I said when I opened this show that I have witnesses. I witness accounts of the power of Jesus. We are living in a world right now where there is nobody looking out for you and I. We have to have that mentality. I call it the desert island mentality, where there's no radio, there's no TV, there's no nothing. It's just you and Jesus. That is where truth is deposited into your spirit. That's where God will download the desires that he has for you. That's where your empowerment and inspiration will come from. So take a break from all this negativity out there and spend some time with Jesus. Have some coffee with Jesus. I do this show because I love you, I believe in you and I know sometimes, when you get to the bottom or the bottom, you think nobody cares. But I care and, most of all, jesus cares. Until next week, this is Ron Myers reminding you that I love you, jesus loves you, and it's time to get the hell out of your life.

Speaker 2:

Get the Hell Out of your Life is underwritten by the Christmas City Gift Show. We invite you to come shop with over 260 vendors from all over the United States, November 10th through the 12th inside the Coast Convention Center located on the beach in Biloxi, Mississippi. You can find more information at ChristmasCityGiftShowcom. If you would like to share your story of God's amazing grace or listen to previous episodes, please visit our website, thepromoterorg. Join us next week for another episode of Get the Hell Out of your Life real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Finding Hope Through Overcoming Life's Struggles
Overcoming Life Struggles With God's Grace
Christmas City Gift Show and Promoter.org