Speaker 1: 0:01

It's time now to get the hell out of your life. A weekly broadcast with real people sharing real struggles and offering real hope. Today's show will encourage, inspire and empower you to face life's challenges with a bold confidence and renewed hope. Now let's join our host, ron Myers. The promoter.

Speaker 2: 0:24

Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you. My guest today had a marriage that was over, or so they thought it was, but God had different plans. My guests are Buddy and Ginger Sheriff. Welcome to the studios, buddy and Ginger, how are you?

Speaker 3: 0:42

It's good to be here with you today.

Speaker 2: 0:44

Well, I am so happy that you contacted me in October to share your story, yours and Ginger's story. So hey, tell us your story.

Speaker 3: 0:55

Well, being a pastor and in ministry for a number of years, there has been some stressful times, but I don't think anything was as stressful nor as surprising to me. When I began to realize my marriage was falling apart and I realized that my wife wanted a divorce, my world crashed down on me.

Speaker 2: 1:32

And it was a dark, dark time. Ginger, why did you want a?

Speaker 4: 1:34

divorce. Well, you know, being in the ministry has been what was very hard for anybody. But I don't know. I just wasn't happy, I was miserable. And when you talk to people which you think are your friends, other christians and such, you would think that they would try to minister to you, work with you and such and everyone. Well, if you're not happy, just get a divorce, get out of it. And satan used that in my life.

Speaker 2: 2:04

Wow, so did you divorce.

Speaker 3: 2:07

We did, um it, finally, this, this went on for, oh, about three years of us living in this house and knowing that she was wanting a divorce. And I'm pastoring a large church and I just know that when this comes out, that's it, it's all over with. And so, at that time, the devil used fear as a very good weapon against me and I tried to find some people I could share with, because you have to have somebody you can talk to, that who will understand. And I didn't find a whole lot of understanding. Uh, it just it wasn't there. So I just began to be quiet and keep all this bottled up on the inside and, uh, it was an extremely difficult time.

Speaker 2: 2:54

So it took three years before you've made the decision that the party's over we're going to get divorced.

Speaker 3: 3:02

I had the idea that if I just kept praying she'd come around. You know, this is kind of this God thing happened where the we're going to get divorced. I had the idea that if I just kept praying she'd come around. You know, this is going to have this God thing happen where the marriage is going to be salvaged and we wouldn't go through the divorce. But as it kept rocking on like that, the toll that was taking on me spiritually and psychologically, emotionally, got to the point where I said, OK, look, I'm done fighting this. The house was for sale, Nobody was wanting to buy. Point where I said, okay, look, I'm done fighting this. The house was for sale, Nobody was wanting to buy it. I kept telling her it was a sign from God. We can't do this. And finally I said, look, I'm done, I'm done fighting this. When the house sells, it's over with. And it wasn't long after that we had an offer on the house.

Speaker 2: 3:41

Now, ginger, you're the wife of a pastor. You're not happy. Are you praying? Are you asking God for a miracle to change your heart, or were you just ready to hit the road and don't come back.

Speaker 4: 3:50

I was ready to hit the road. I wanted to get away from God as far as I could because I just I knew what I was doing in my mind was wrong, but I was so miserable.

Speaker 3: 4:03

It was like the devil just camped out on our family for that time period and even after that it was a. He caught us at a weak moment. A lot of stressful things that happened from Katrina on, or just a series of stressful events that we'd gone through and we didn't realize how worn down spiritually we were and he just camped out on our family. You know he's he. He tempted Jesus after 40 days in the wilderness, when he was hungry. He said, hey, turn this stone to bread. So he knows when we're weak he doesn't strike at us when we're strong. He watches. He's there all the time in the world and he waits for that opportune moment and he hit us at the right time.

Speaker 2: 4:40

Now did you think, Ginger, that this is spiritual warfare? That I'm not really thinking straight. I'm getting influenced by the dark side of the world, satan.

Speaker 4: 4:53

Well, Ron, at that time, I'd had migraines for years and I was on some medication for my migraines and it was called Topamax, and, of course, anything it was. Topamax is a medication for epileptic patients that have seizures, and so it was messing with the chemicals in my brain. I'd had a hysterectomy back in 2010, so my hormones were all messed up, so all these things were mixing together, you know. And then Satan was in the back of my mind constantly telling me. So, you know, I was as far away from God at that point in my life than I ever have been.

Speaker 2: 5:29

Now, buddy, you're a preacher. Why aren't you laying hands on ginger and just saying let the miracle happen? I mean, jesus is supposed to be all healing. Why isn't he healing your marriage?

Speaker 3: 5:41

Number one. I wasn't allowed to touch her, so that was not a possibility. Um, my, my faith was being tested tremendously and I began to lose hope that this was going to be averted. And so when I told her I was done, I had at that point given up on anything stopping this. It was coming no matter what. Just got to let the chips fall where they may.

Speaker 3: 6:12

And I met with the deacons at our church and they voted like 100% for me not to resign, because I meant to resign, to step down, because we had sold the house, ginger had moved out and they didn't know all that stuff. We had sold the house, ginger had moved out and they didn't know all that stuff. And I was just going to step down and go to do whatever and move back to the coast. And they said no, and they gave me time to get away, think about it. And they gave me full salary, full benefits for three months and I was trying to get my head together. I was talking to some counselors and I was trying to get to a place where I could come back to ministry. But I knew I couldn't. I would not be able to withstand the stress of pastoring in the condition that I was in. I was still pretty much fried and I needed some time to recover, so I stepped away from the church and moved back to Gulfport.

Speaker 2: 7:06

So, ginger, you moved out and you're free. So did life change and everything was just hunky-dory and you're happy, and you're so glad that you made that decision. Was everything good for you?

Speaker 4: 7:20

No, not at all. I moved back down here in Gulfport and was living in an apartment with our youngest daughter, and it took me three months to finally find a job and I was miserable.

Speaker 2: 7:34

But today you're both here in the office, held hands a few minutes ago to say a prayer, so there had to be a time of reconciliation. Take us through that, buddy.

Speaker 3: 7:46

Ginger sent me a text one day and she said I need to see you tonight, can you come by the apartment? So our daughter was staying. I was living with my sister, so our daughter was with us and I thought honestly she was going to tell me that she had some type of terminal disease. That's what all this was about. She had something going on. She was. She was not going to make it. So I'm thinking I'm about to get this health update that she's not in good health and I open the walk-in and she just starts crying and she is apologizing and asking me to forgive her and I am standing there like what? Like some? I'm stunned and we're like what, what is going on? I didn't know what to say.

Speaker 4: 8:23

Well, it's took me a while, but, um, I have some good friends of mine that were praying for me. And um, they were praying for me and I finally found my way back to the Lord and started. I started praying and I started reading my Bible again and, um, god just told me Ginger, what you've done is wrong, but I still love you and Buddy still loves you. And everybody I talked to kept telling me that man loves you more than you can ever know. And when God told me I needed to do something to get my marriage back together, I said God, he just just he don't love me anymore. He just, you know I've, I've killed him, you know I've hurt this man so much, I've broken him. And god said kept telling me, he said you needed to, you need to talk, call him. And that was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life what was the reaction when she said that to you?

Speaker 2: 9:21

did you? Did you fall over on the floor?

Speaker 4: 9:24

What happened? He didn't say anything.

Speaker 6: 9:27

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 9:28

I was stunned. I was. I was stunned, I was shocked. I'm thinking we could have done this like a year ago and done a lot of this, been through a lot of the stuff we had been through. I said, let me think about all this. I said, don't say anything, don't tell anyone, just let me think about this.

Speaker 3: 9:48

I was trying to buy some time to tell her to know we were not getting back together. So as I drove away, the Lord, just speaking to my heart, he said is this not what you prayed for? I'm thinking not like this. This was not how I saw this happening, not like this. This was not how I saw this happening. But I knew that all the time that I had spent fasting, praying for my marriage, that God was answering that prayer. And somehow, someway at some point in time, I would realize we went through so much pain and so much hurt for for a purpose. And so I kind of, in the back of my mind, I was kind of not happy the way God answered the prayer. And I wasn't sure I was happy the prayer was being answered, because I didn't know what we were about to go through.

Speaker 2: 10:37

Wow. So your life was about to change and you would come back together and we're going to take a break and come. When we come back, we're going to talk about this. Listeners just a beautiful, happy couple in here and we're going to hear what they're up to now and also they're going to offer some encouragement for married couples out there that are thinking about calling it quits. Maybe you'll change your mind once you hear the rest of the story You're listening to.

Speaker 1: 11:13

Get the Hell Out of your Life with your host, ron Myers. Real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Speaker 6: 11:33

Just about everybody prays to God. Sometimes there's no crime in that I'm trying to cut down on myself, real struggles and real hope, ignoring him. You got your show and I got mine, and our prayers aren't specific enough. Somehow my TV blew up.

Speaker 2: 11:44

So I'd appreciate you putting in a new one.

Speaker 6: 11:45

And eventually our prayer life is pretty weak. Bless you, bless her, bless him, hallelujah. But God wants to have a real daily relationship with you. First you need to get right with God. I thought after a lifetime of hedonism it was time to rededicate my life. Call sin exactly what it is. It's wrong wrong, wrong, wrong. Then begin reading the Bible every day and don't approach God like he doesn't like you, I'm so sick of this whining from you.

Speaker 6: 12:08

After a week of regular prayer you'll realize God is not far away. He'll be real in your life.

Speaker 5: 12:25

Wow, man, this is so unbelievable I can't believe you're here. Man, Prayer, it works. Amen deep down inside. Oh baby listeners.

Speaker 2: 12:43

Welcome back in the studios is buddy and ginger sheriff. Today's story is a reminder that it's never too late for a new beginning and that love conquers all. Love will always win out. Buddy, tell the listeners what you experienced personally with other people going through this divorce.

Speaker 3: 13:07

When it finally came out that we were filed for divorce and we were going to be separated, guys I knew in the ministry there was a mixed reaction to that. And then people from churches I had served in, uh, things began to filter back to me of stuff that people said and at first I just dismissed it. I said I don't think they said that. And then it would be confirmed by somebody else that that what people were saying. One was that well, I got out of God's will. So God did this to me and I my thought was what kind of God do you serve? I didn't jump out of God's will.

Speaker 3: 13:46

Every decision I've ever made in my life I have prayed through. They have not always turned out right, but there's a difference between rebelling against God and straying. I said if I had strayed out of God's will, why would he do this to me? He didn't pull me back in, as a shepherd would generally get sheep back in. So um had to deal with some of that. I had guys tell me ministry was over for me. I've been divorced. God couldn't use me anymore. I was done. What was I going to do now? I had evangelists that I had used at my church before. When they found out, they just quit calling me and what I was really shocked was that people had no problem talking about me, but nobody bothered to call me, even just to tell me hey look, I know you're going through a hard time. I'm praying for you. That just wasn't there, and I think maybe some of them didn't know what to say and someone just never dawned on them that maybe they shouldn't be saying stuff they don't know anything about.

Speaker 2: 14:33

Well, and I think it's important to say that, because there are some people out there right now that have turned away from the church and won't go back to a church, because people started rumors, started treating them bad, but again, people are flawed and they make mistakes. We can never forget that God is a God of love, mercy and forgiveness.

Speaker 3: 14:58

You know, when we got back together, we did not have to get remarried. We filed an uncontested divorce, or whatever it's called, in Mississippi. And when I was leaving, an attorney that I knew at the church I was serving at sent me a text. He said buddy, when God puts your marriage back together and he will contact me, you won't need to be remarried. We're just going to file a motion to vacate the divorce. I text him back, said nice, try, bill. I said that's never going to happen. So when Ginger and I we decided, okay, god's putting this back together, we're going to do this, I sent him a text. I said hey, bill, remember that piece of paper you said you could file. My phone rang. He called me. So what he did was he just went back to the courthouse where the divorce was filed. They filed a motion to vacate the divorce and it's just like grace.

Speaker 3: 15:43

You go to the Rankin County Courthouse. There's no record of our divorce there, from what I was told. I never went back and checked. They vacated the divorce. It's not there. And so someone can talk about us being divorced, having been divorced. They can listen to the broadcast. Yes, you were divorced, but there's no record of it. Just like grace, the devil can bring up to God your past sin Guys. I don't have a record of it. It's under the blood of Jesus, Amen.

Speaker 2: 16:04

I love it, I love it.

Speaker 3: 16:06

So one thing I had to come to grips with. I got two things I can think about. I can think about all the bad stuff and stuff that happened and stuff what I lost when that went down. Or I can think about what God did in putting us back together and the doors that God has opened for us now Amen. Amen. So you've got to pick what you're going to dwell on.

Speaker 2: 16:31

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 3: 16:32

Because, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. You think about the bad stuff, and you're going to be in doom and gloom, but in the midst of all of it, god's grace has done amazing things. So, ginger, how's life?

Speaker 4: 16:41

It's so much better. You know God has definitely blessed us so much and um, or we have three daughters. We've said that we have three daughters and you know they've been blessed through all this too. It was very hard on them when we divorced and such but um, but God is good.

Speaker 2: 16:57

How long have you been back together?

Speaker 3: 16:59

Since uh 2014, eight years.

Speaker 2: 17:02

Wow, eight years long have you been back together since, uh, 2014? Eight years, wow, eight years. So now and now there's somebody listening that is struggling with their marriage and, ginger, you can speak to a woman from a woman's perspective. What would you tell that lady?

Speaker 4: 17:20

worst thing with me was, like I said, my hormones medication I was on All those had a big play in what I was going through. So make sure mentally, physically, you're in the position you should be in. As far as the way I want to be from God, I should have been pushing myself towards him. You know pray and ask God. You know for direction and don't listen to other people. You know listen to god and you know talk to people. That you know that you can trust and give you good, sound advice, advice that you don't want to hear but that you need to hear buddy, what would you tell the man?

Speaker 3: 17:59

um, god spoke to me through Ephesians, chapter 5, and I didn't want to hear what he told me. I was reading in there where husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and as I read that, this is what was impressed upon me Jesus always loves the church, but the church doesn't always love. Jesus always loves the church, but the church doesn't always love Jesus. And if I'm going to love my wife with that kind of love and I'm to love her continually, I'm to love her through every situation. I'm to love her even if she doesn't love me, and the only way I can do that is through the Lord.

Speaker 2: 18:42

Someone may be listening right now, buddy, that wishes they would have heard this five years ago. Maybe they could have salvaged their marriage. They haven't salvaged their marriage and they're never going to get back together and they live with guilt and anger and bitterness, and God had them divinely tune in to hear this. What would you tell that person that can't seem to forgive themselves?

Speaker 3: 19:06

Guilt, anger and bitterness are not from the Lord. You won't find them in the fruit of the spirit. You won't find them in your life at all, any place that comes from the Lord. So those things are used by the devil to keep you down. You can't go back and change the past. That's it. We all understand that. But there is grace that can take the past and make something beautiful out of the brokenness that you've gone through. When you bring all of the pieces to Jesus and when you give him the pieces, he can put your life back together. It's not going to be what it was. It may not be with that person, but he'll give you a life that is filled with joy. You're not going to be held back from the best things that God has for you. That's what grace does.

Speaker 2: 19:50

What is. Both of you can answer this if you want. What is the greatest lesson that you've learned through those whole entire situation went through that you want to pass on to your children, to your grandchildren and to anyone that will listen.

Speaker 3: 20:09

I think just to kind of sum it up for me is failure is never final when you factor in the Lord.

Speaker 2: 20:16

I like that Failure is never final until.

Speaker 3: 20:21

No, failure is never final when you factor, when you factor in the. Lord, I had to think about that too.

Speaker 2: 20:26

I don't know what I just said. Yeah, I wasn't very good in school.

Speaker 4: 20:32

I just have to say that, no matter what, god's always there with you. He never leaves you. We can walk away from God, but he's always going to be there. He's always there.

Speaker 2: 20:41

Well, buddy, I have known of you for many years, so if people want to reach out to you maybe a couple has something they just want to private message you with Ginger or you just a question. They just need answers. They need some guidance.

Speaker 3: 20:57

We have a Facebook page and then we're on a Facebook Messenger. It's probably the easiest way my page, my wife has hers, and then we can message.

Speaker 2: 21:05

And it's buddy sheriff, just like the lawn S H.

Speaker 3: 21:09

E R I F? F, just like the sheriff's department.

Speaker 2: 21:12

Before we go, buddy, I want you to pray for the listeners, for the married couples, for all the people right now that are going through any kind of hell in their life. We'll do that.

Speaker 3: 21:25

Father in heaven, we come to you today and we lift up those families, we lift up the individuals going through, as Ron said, hell in their life. And, father, we know this, that's not from you, that's from the devil. Father, we pray that you'd restore hope where hope seems to have vanished. We pray, lord, you'd give the glimmer of hope within their spirit of the magnitude of your love and the grace that you have. Father, the possibility, the prospect of restoration of an enjoyable life. Father, just the presence of your spirit.

Speaker 3: 21:58

And I'm so thankful, lord, that in the midst of your grace, when we bring our life to you and we come to you and you apply your grace through the blood of Jesus, the past is the past. There might be a record of it in somebody's mind, but there's none in yours. And, father, you open up the floodgates of your love. Sometimes it's immediately. We sense the change, and sometimes it's a little day by day. But, father, I know the darkest of the night there's going to be the dawn. In the deepest of the night there's going to be the dawn. In the deepest of the valleys there's going to be the mountaintop. In the gloomiest of times there's going to be that ray of hope and we pray that today you would bless the listener with your presence, that they would sense, know that you love them with an everlasting love. Father, we pray this in Jesus' name.

Speaker 2: 22:42

Amen, Amen. You know, buddy, as you were praying, I couldn't help but think about a pastor listening and now only you, from a former pastor, because I wouldn't know what advice to give them. A pastor that's listening that the their congregation has cast them aside. They've given up on them because they went for a divorce. Now you can speak pastor to pastor, and some of these pastors are leaving churches or losing hope, and they're leaving God.

Speaker 3: 23:14

What would you tell that pastor when God called me to preach, it was me and God. When God led me to my first place of service, it was me and God, it wasn't others. Nobody can stop you from being in the will of God. There might be churches that would never look at you or want you to minister, but you can serve and preach and teach. You don't have to have the backing of a church to do that. You can go out on the streets, you can go to the marketplace, you can go down to soup kitchens, you can go to places where people are gathered and share the love of Jesus. That's what we're called to do.

Speaker 2: 23:49

Christians sometimes can be the meanest, the orneriest, the most judgmental people I've ever seen, but yet they never miss a day in church. Come on, pastor, tell me. Why is that?

Speaker 3: 24:08

Yeah, my thoughts on that. Most of the time you find somebody that's in a church. That is that way. There's something. There's usually something else going on you're not aware of, but some people just learn to be judgmental. They could have sat under a preacher that preached a lot of judgmental type sermons and they know when everybody's wrong and sometimes folks get mad at others because they don't sin the way they sin. But they can be that way. They can be vicious. I've had some stuff said about me that got back to me that I was extremely shocked of what I heard about myself and my wife. There were rumors going on about my wife having all these affairs, which was never true. None of that was ever true. We never had infidelity in our marriage. That was not the problem.

Speaker 2: 24:52

So now somebody listening says see, amen, that's why I never stepped foot in a church. Even though we people make mistakes, god is a God of love, mercy and forgiveness. We can't forsake God because somebody started some rumors, right?

Speaker 3: 25:08

Exactly. I mean. The old adage is you know there's a lot of counterfeit money out there, but you still use your money, don't you? So there's a lot of counterfeit people out there in churches, and there are folks who aren't where they're supposed to be in their walk with God, or they wouldn't be that critical. But you can't let a person define who God is. The Bible tells us who God is, so sometimes people misrepresent who the Lord is. You can't let them do that. Find out from the Word of God and get serious with God. When I started reading the Bible, I would read 30 chapters at a time. I might understand just a little bit of it, but I figured if I stayed in it long enough I'd finally start getting some some truth out of there. And little by little you know. And so you can't let somebody else who misrepresents God turn you away from the Lord who loves you.

Speaker 2: 25:59

Amen, amen. Thank you so much for sharing that, because that is the point of this show is to encourage people out there that maybe have gone through a rough spell in life, maybe the church has wounded him, but never give up on God. God will never give up on us and sometimes we can blame things on God, but it's not God's fault. He loves us. He wants to love the hell out of our life.

Speaker 3: 26:22

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 26:23

And, speaking of that, one last question I like to ask all my guests. The title of the show is called Get the Hell Out of your Life. So how do you get the hell out of your life?

Speaker 3: 26:33

Well, I shut the door on the devil and opened the door to the Lord.

Speaker 2: 26:36

There you go, folks. Any last thoughts, Ginger?

Speaker 4: 26:41

I just want to praise God for putting our marriage back together and you know, God is so good, he's so good.

Speaker 2: 26:49

Amen. Well, thank you both for coming in. I was excited when I got your email about sharing your story. And again, Facebook. You're both there. You want to send a question or maybe a personal message to Buddy or to Ginger? Please do, Buddy and Ginger, Sheriff, and you can find them on Facebook. God bless you. Thank you for coming in.

Speaker 3: 27:08

Thank you, Ron.

Speaker 1: 27:09

You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life with your host, ron Myers. Real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Speaker 7: 27:19

Ron will be back in a moment to wrap up today's conversation. Did you know what Ron did before he discovered his destiny? He was a promoter of secular entertainment and, by his own admission, he promoted anything he could make a buck at. At the pinnacle of his success, he walked away from it all so he could follow Jesus and discover his God-given destiny. That was over 20 years ago and he has never looked back. Today he's an inspirational speaker on a mission to empower individuals just like you to discover their God-given destiny. Ron put his story in a novel entitled the Promoter and he wants to give you a copy.

Speaker 2: 27:59

My story is proof positive that God's plan for you and I is greater than all of our mistakes.

Speaker 7: 28:06

Here's what a few readers have said. I could not put it down. I cried, giggled, gasped and laughed out loud. Ron has written a novel and self-help book all in one. This book is a message of hope. To request your free copy of Ron's novel the Promoter, visit our website at thepromoterorg. Now back to Ron.

Speaker 2: 28:30

Now, if you will, please remember this one thing from the show today it's never over until God says it's over. So press on, press in, pray and have faith, because God is in the reconciliation business.

Speaker 1: 28:56

Get the Hell Out of your Life is produced by Ron Myers Productions and is underwritten by the Christmas City Gift Show. We invite you to come shop with over 260 vendors from all over the United States, november 10th through the 12th inside the Coast Convention Center located on the beach in Biloxi, mississippi. You can find more information at christmascitygiftshowcom. If you would like to share your story of God's amazing grace or listen to previous episodes, please visit our website, thepromoterorg. Join us next week for another episode of Get the Hell Out of your Life real stories, real struggles and real hope.