I Love Me More

Announcer: 0:01

It's time now to get the hell out of your life. A weekly broadcast with real people sharing real struggles and offering real hope. Today's show will encourage, inspire and empower you to face life's challenges with a bold confidence and renewed hope. Now let's join our host, ron Myers. The promoter.

Ron Meyers: 0:26

Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you today. My hot coffee. I have a great guest today. You know, this show brings you guests that share their stories of getting the hell out of their life. And I love these stories because not only will they encourage and inspire you but, man, friends, they feed me, they feed my life, my soul, my energy. Because, friends, we need to share our stories more and become transparent, because you will find out that we are more connected than you realize and when we share and love and encourage and inspire each other, we reach a whole new potential in life. And my guest today?

Ron Meyers: 1:16

I was doing something and I came across her name, Jenna Banks, and the title of her book called I Love Me More how to Find Happiness and Success Through Self-Love. Well, I was fascinated because I was like her and most of you a lot of you anyway. We grew up with a crappy childhood and some of those things we learn as a child. We have to get that stink and think and that nonsense out of our head, but it's sometimes a lot harder than we think. And here comes a pioneer many of them, many women that have come forward, and Jenna Banks shares her story. So I put a call into her and not only did I get a copy of her book which, wow, I could not put down, I can relate to it so much, and I know you will too.

Ron Meyers: 2:11

So I called up Jenna and said hey, Jenna, I would love for you to share your story with my listeners. We have some people in Mississippi that need a little bit of self-love, and she was so kind to do that. So, Jenna Banks, I am so glad she is an award-winning author, speaker, MC, moderator, host of the Jenna Banks show, and she's dynamic. You're going to love this conversation and if you have a little bit of hell in your life called anti-love for yourself, well today you're going to help. She's going to help you get that hell out of your life. Jenna, welcome to the show. How are you?

Jenna Banks: 2:54

Oh, thank you for asking. Thank you so much for having me on to have this conversation with you. I think it's so incredibly important. So I'm just thrilled that you're getting this message of self-love out there.

Jenna Banks: 3:04

So a little bit about me. I didn't have the easiest of a beginning because I had a bit of a traumatic background traumatic childhood, very strict, strict, strict upbringing. Lots and lots of rules and beliefs to follow, none of which were mine to start out with, and harsh punishments were the norm. We moved around a lot, ron I mean I can't even tell you how many places. So I was always the new kid in school, just not a very great way to make friends. So I never really developed that muscle as a kid to have long-term friends because I was always saying goodbye and I was pretty sad and pretty depressed and ended up leaving home at the age of 14 because something had to give and it was. Whew went from living in a very strict environment, very religious upbringing, to no rules. Everything was up to me, survival mode and all of that. So I was thrown right into a whole nother trauma. I had to figure out my way in my teens. But you know what? Thankfully I did get through it.

Jenna Banks: 4:14

And when I look back to where I am today, which is someone who you know was able to you know get a GED. I only got my GED. Didn't go to college because I was focused on surviving, ended up getting pregnant and married at 19,. Became a divorced single mom at the age of 22. But I was able to find success in life. I eventually went on to have a mid-six-figure career in corporate leadership roles in my 20s, founded a startup in my 30s and I later sold that for half a million dollars, started a profitable real estate venture, and now I'm an author, speaker, writer, thought leader, host and moderate panels, facilitate events and love what I do, you know, and I really do feel, like you and I were talking earlier about living in your purpose. You know we are all brought here for a reason on this earth. You know we are all beautiful souls, perfect exactly as we are. There's nothing we have to change about ourselves Really, absolutely nothing. God made us 100% perfect and so many of us walk around without self-love.

Jenna Banks: 5:21

And when I realized and was talking to you know talk about it in the beginning of the book about a friend who didn't know how to value herself, and I talked about the reason that I had gotten out of a relationship and learning to choose myself and put myself and my needs first, and that I love me more. And it was such a foreign concept to her and that conversation alone sparked within me that knowing like, oh, okay, this is what I'm supposed to talk about. Right, this is that I've gone through a lifetime of figuring that out and choosing myself along the way, and that was all just trial and error, right? Nobody told me about self-love.

Jenna Banks: 6:01

I didn't even know about the term self-love until I started writing the book and researching and then I realized, oh, there's a word for what I learned to do, but that choosing myself, putting my needs first not saying that it's being in a selfish way, but just saying I'm going to do the things that make me happy and light me up, regardless. I'm not going to let anyone make me feel like less than or unworthy, like I don't. You know that I'm not worthy enough for the relationship or for them or whatever. I learned that.

Jenna Banks: 6:33

You know what? Hey, you're not meant for me, then you're not meant for me, and the job's not meant for me. It's not meant for me. It's okay. Not everyone's supposed to be in our lives forever. And you know, the more I chose myself, I got aligned with the right people and the right jobs and the right things and got to live a full, happy, productive, successful life. Because I went down that path and I can only imagine what it would have been like for me had I, you know, stayed in a lack of self-worth and let my you know my humble upbringings dictate, you know my potential. So yeah, hopefully that kind of sums it up there.

Ron Meyers: 7:15

No, no, it's very intriguing to hear you talk, because we have to love ourselves. We all have one fingerprint to prove that we are an original, and I got this from your book. I read this book. It's called I Love Me More listeners. It's written by Jenna Banks. We'll tell you how to get a copy in just a few minutes. But, jenna, why did you write this book?

Jenna Banks: 7:38

I'd like to acknowledge what you just said about liking yourself. You know, starting with that, and I think that that is that is a really good starting point. I just did a post on that today. It starts with you know, you can't go right to loving yourself. You, if you're going to, you know even backtrack from there it's you know, respecting yourself. And how do you respect yourself if you don't even like yourself? Right, a lot of times we can just stand in the mirror, especially as women, and pick apart every part of ourselves, our body, our wrinkles, and we're not pretty as pretty as so, and so you know, in the media or whatever, and how we can't even develop self love if we're picking apart ourselves like that. That's not even. That's just disliking ourselves. We have to start with not doing that to ourselves and talking kindly to ourselves and thinking well of ourselves, because everything reflects from us, right? How can we be respected if we don't have self-respect? How can we be valued if we don't value ourselves? It all starts with us. So what spawned me to write the book was that whole topic of self-value.

Jenna Banks: 8:47

I had, you know, had a traumatic background, as I mentioned, and I learned far too late in life that, unfortunately, we repeat patterns from our childhood and, you know, found myself in relationships along the way, long-term relationships, but they just never, you know, I just never felt quite right. They never ended well. And I was in one of those relationships where I broke up with somebody because I just didn't quite feel fulfilled, I wasn't feeling valued, and if I'm not going to feel valued then I'm not going to work. So I chose to broke it off and my heart was really broken at that time because I really loved this person. He thought he could have, you know, he had a lot of potential and, yeah, there was a lot of love there for me. But, you know, he had a lot of potential and, um, yeah, there was a lot of love there for me, but, um, you know, just wasn't feeling that he valued me enough, broke it off and he didn't seem to mind. So that kind of proved to me what I was, what I was feeling and um, but I was still heartbroken, you know, and I, um, went to dinner with a friend and she says, hey, why, why would you break up with someone if you're still in love with them?

Jenna Banks: 9:53

Why don't you just get back together? Um, and I said no, no, I love me more. You know, I love me more than him. And she said what do you mean? You love me more? And I was like what do you mean? What do I mean? It was like for me it was a no brainer.

Jenna Banks: 10:09

I had done so much work on myself at that point, or to get to that point, that it just didn't even. It wasn't even a hesitation, and she just could not comprehend it. And she was my age and I was like wow, okay, you don't understand, okay. And so I tried to explain it to her and I spent about an hour over dinner explaining it to her and I really thought okay, jenna, you did a good job. She's got to have gotten it by now. Well, a few weeks later she calls me Ron and she's like oh, my goodness, I just got it, jenna, I love me more. And I was like what do you mean? She goes I have to be honest with you.

Jenna Banks: 10:48

At first I really could not understand where you were coming from, but I was spending a lot of time contemplating this and she said it finally clicked for me. You know, I've been in this. She was saying I've been in this relationship with this guy for a few months. He was always, you know, leaving me hanging, sending me random text messages that were making me question where our relationship was at. Did we really have a relationship, did he? You know, how did he feel about me? She just still. She was still hanging on, trying to get her sense of value from him and she realized, oh, I am looking to him for my value, but I need to value myself more. This is not what I want. This is not fulfilling me, this is not making me feel good. What am I doing? I need to value myself more, I need to love myself more and leave Right, and I think that that right there was a big light bulb moment for her and it got her down this path of wanting to know more.

Jenna Banks: 11:54

And she started asking me Jenna, how did you get to this place where you could, you know, learn to value yourself more and and put yourself ahead of you know, anybody else? She's like I never really thought of it like that. I always thought it was selfish, but now I see that it's kind of everything and I was like, oh, wow, okay, well, let me think about this. And I wanted to help and started journaling and kind of going back in my history and thinking about choices I made along the way. That kind of helped me start to begin to choose myself and my happiness and um, and then I could write a book.

Ron Meyers: 12:31

So here we are talking about it. Have you found that when people read your book that they say, Jenna, this was like my story. I was like in a mirror and it's helped me so much?

Jenna Banks: 12:44

Oh, you have no idea. Yeah, 100%. I just got chills thinking about some of the emails and messages on social media that I've received, and even meeting people where I had a speaking event and they picked up my book randomly beforehand and just the feedback like, oh yes, I every. It's like you're telling my story and it's so empowering and it's really. I mean, sometimes I've heard it's life saving, you know, just understanding that someone finally can relate to me or to them. Right, they say, oh, so finally someone relates to my story and I have a different path, right, that's the thing is, when you tell your story, it's scary at first.

Jenna Banks: 13:29

It's scary at first, honestly, ron, you know it's not easy to put yourself out there and go deep and dig out all those stories of overcoming. Right, because those were hard moments in our lives. But those were those points that you made a pivotal choice and that story of overcoming can really help somebody. So it's worth it to go down that path If you have a story to tell. If anyone's listening now and you know they have a story to tell, that can help somebody. I mean, even just sometimes writing it out can be therapeutic, right.

Ron Meyers: 14:04

Yes, absolutely. It's amazing that people share their stories and then I hear back. Well, I thought I was only one that dealt like that, and it is important. We have to be transparent. Sometimes we want help, but then we won't really want to talk about what really bothers us, and I appreciate your transparency in this book. And how do people get a copy?

Jenna Banks: 14:27

Oh, thank you for asking. Yeah, it's on. I mean I hate to only promote Amazon because they are the elephant in the room, but that's the easiest way, especially if you have Prime, because it's free shipping and right now they are selling it at a really nice price. But I love Barnes and Nobles. If you have one near you, walk into your local Barnes and Noble. They've been a really great supporter of the book. Or, you know, you can just go to my website, jenna-bankscom, and I have links to everything there. There's many other places online that you can find it Target and all kinds of other smaller mom and pop bookstores as well.

Ron Meyers: 15:02

And listeners. I got her book a few months ago, back in the fall. This is a good book. It's a great book and, jenna, there's just a lot of things that I can relate to you, that I was reading but somebody listening out there, jenna, that says, well, yeah, ron, that's me. What's the first step? What should they do?

Jenna Banks: 15:21

Start reading, right, I think that's what I do. So, whether it's my book or someone else's, there's a lot of you know. Come to find out. There are quite a few great books out there on self-love and I say find the one with the author, that with a story that resonates with you most. Right, most of the websites or even books themselves have a little blurb about the author or what the book's about.

Jenna Banks: 15:44

And I say find that one that connects with you, because we are, you mentioned, you know choices and we all have choices to make. We also all have our own beliefs, right. And that's been a huge aha moment for me is our belief systems are so diverse and so unique, and that's what makes us all so opinionated. Right Is because we're all so firm in our beliefs. But I would just say find the one that speaks to you most, but most of all, just know that it is's power, it's bringing more God, more universe through you, and that then, positively, just by you being you don't even have to do anything Just your presence will positively impact those around you. Love is everything, right?

Jenna Banks: 16:46

And God is love God is love, Love is God right.

Ron Meyers: 16:50

It says one day, all the gifts and everything will be gone, but love will last forever. And I guess, jenna, I just think people need to chill out a little, have a little more fun in life and quit being so trying to be somebody else. Just be yourself, and you know, when you do that we thrive. Am I right, or am I wrong?

Jenna Banks: 17:15

Amen, very well said. Well, you and I are like you're the male version of me, ron, I think. Seriously, I agree with everything you say so much in your background. Our backgrounds are very, very similar and yeah, like just that's the thing, right, it's really hard to just accept yourself fully and be yourself and bring your authentic self to the table, but that's all that's all anyone wants, like, really, when we drop the facade and stop trying to be like everyone else, we people feel the difference, they see the difference and they it doesn't matter what it is you could have had a prison, you know, you know, had a prison past, right, like I know people who.

Jenna Banks: 18:00

In fact, there's a woman I interviewed for my show I've got a video series called the Jenna Bank Show and she was a former cheerleader. She got addicted to drugs, ended up dealing, got caught here. She went from this beautiful cheerleader. She got addicted to drugs, ended up dealing, got caught here. She went from this beautiful cheerleader with a huge, so much potential ahead of her and she ends up getting caught up in the drug, selling drugs, gets caught and convicted of a felony. She has a young daughter at this point she's 19, I believe 18, something like that. She ends up in prison for two years, loses custody of her daughter. Now she goes into a halfway house after that.

Jenna Banks: 18:39

Now, what do you think she might think of herself after that? Right, like the shame, right, the shame is what a person might feel. Most people would. And then they also would doom themselves at that point to never ever having any kind of potential ahead of them or any possibilities of having a great life. With this really bad story behind you, behind you. No, that's not the case.

Jenna Banks: 19:04

You know what she did. It was so inspiring. She owned it. She owned it fully. And she said you know what? I am not going to let this define me. She changed her point of view in prison and said you know what? Now I've just got a lot of work to do to overcome this thing, but I'm going to own it. And she did. And she went on to have an incredibly successful life and career and she speaks all over the country for the same prison system that put her away. She's under contract with the Department of Justice to speak and motivate other prisoners, because she went on to have a really great career and made a lot of money.

Jenna Banks: 19:40

She just she owned it. She went into her first employer, out of the halfway house that she was living in. I love her story so much. She called them, got the interview, went in. She says look, I'm just going to be honest with you. I just got out of prison, served a felony, lost custody of my child, but you know what? I am a changed person and nothing motivates me more than overcoming that particular hurdle. I will be your best, whatever job she was applying for, and you will not be disappointed. And her this, uh, the person interviewing her. She said the mouth her, their mouth was just their jaw dropping to the floor.

Jenna Banks: 20:20

But, um, they're like wow, okay, yeah, you're hired. You know, and they gave her a go.

Ron Meyers: 20:26

They're like, wow, okay, yeah, you're hired. You know, and they gave her a go, that's good, you're hired. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a a very similar story of a lady that had no self-worth. She became a stripper, a prostitute, and now she here is in the prison system, has a female chaplain very similar story, yeah. So you know, sometimes those things in life we go through, they look like they're the end of the world, but all we have to do is just say you know what I'm not, I can't do this anymore. So, jenna, I know time is short and you are a busy lady, but you can give the listeners a little pep talk.

Jenna Banks: 21:05

Okay, well, I'm just going to say what is on my heart and mind right now, which is, you know, beliefs. Beliefs are not facts, and this is something I've contemplated a lot lately. Beliefs are not facts. Right, we get our beliefs from various sources, but I've come to learn that we form around 95% of our beliefs and behaviors by the age of seven, seven, and then they become subconscious programs that just sit in the background of our minds and our subconscious and they run our entire lives and we operate from these beliefs as if they're facts, but they're really not. They can be changed, right, a belief is just that. That we can change that belief anytime we want. And so, you know, I say to bring more consciousness into our lives, because that is where we need to be right now is just in a more conscious place.

Jenna Banks: 22:01

We need to be examining these unconscious beliefs and decide for ourselves is are they true? Are they really true for me today? Do I want to believe this thing about myself? You know, maybe I, you know, if you say something about yourself, for example, you say well, you know, this happens because that's the way it always has been, or I'm just an unlucky person. Wow, that, right there you take a look at that and say, wait, why am I believing that?

Jenna Banks: 22:31

Where did that come from? When did I start believing that about myself? Is it true? Because the more you say these things, the more you make them true. So, if we can look at them and start to look at those beliefs and say, well, what do I really want to believe and what do I want to believe about myself? Right, do I want to believe that I'm worthy? Do I want to believe that I'm valuable or do I want to keep believing that I should self-sacrifice? Right, and you know where did that come from. You know, some of us were raised, like I was, to believe that self-sacrifice is a virtue.

Ron Meyers: 23:04

Yeah.

Jenna Banks: 23:05

You know. And so just taking a look at these beliefs and saying, hmm, you know, I might have believed this for forever, but is it really true for me today? Is it really serving me? And then, when I say serving me, meaning it was serving me so that I can be my best, so that I can be my best for the world, right? The world that I impact, my family, my children, my job, my community, right? Because when you are serving yourself, you're being your best self, but you can be your best for others too, so it's a win-win for everyone. So maybe take a look at those, those unconscious beliefs. It's hard to do, but it's definitely well worth it.

Ron Meyers: 23:42

How can people connect with you or listen to some of your podcast, or maybe send you a note?

Jenna Banks: 23:49

Oh, thank you for asking. Yeah, my, my website, jenna-bankscom, is really the the place to start because there are links to everything. You'll find my Instagram and YouTube and my powerful women plus channel, which you want to watch. The video version of my show. You'll find it on Roku, google play, apple, all that stuff, apple TV You'll find all the links on my website. I'm quite active on LinkedIn as well, so just type in my name, jenna Banks, and, yeah, email and everything. It's all on there.

Ron Meyers: 24:23

Well, jenna, I want to thank you for taking time to visit with me, and we appreciate you so very much, and keep spreading the love.

Jenna Banks: 24:33

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on to have this conversation, Ron. I appreciate you and all that you're doing to positively impact the world. So thank you wow.

Ron Meyers: 24:57

jenna was so real and transparent and, friends, I would highly encourage you to go to her website jennabankscom. I know there's a hyphen in there, but you'll find her. You'll find her. You'll see this dynamic picture, this dynamic story and all kinds of links to things she does in her shows. Get connected with her because, friends, as I said when I opened up this show, we have to stick together. We have to encourage and inspire other people and never think that you know everything, because we don't know everything. Every day is a new day, every minute is a new minute.

Ron Meyers: 25:32

And just think about this If you get the hell out of your life by loving yourself more, loving the talents, skills and abilities that you have, and embracing how you are different, you are different because you were made to be different. God doesn't make duplicates. We are an original, one of a kind copy, and you've got an awesome, awesome destiny. I know I've been talking about it in interviewing people for many years and we're all after what is it I'm placed on this planet for and what can I do to help other people enjoy life? Well, friends, if you have a story to share, I would love for you to go to my website, thepromoterorg. Send me a little note and we will share your story with the world Until next week. This is Ron Myers, reminding you that I love you, god loves you, and it's time to get the hell out of your life and love yourself just as much as God loves you. Get the hell out.

Announcer: 26:49

Get the hell out. Get the hell out of your life. Get the hell out of your life is underwritten by the Christmas City Gift Show. We invite you to come shop with over 255 vendors from all over the United States From November 8th through the 10th inside the Coast Convention Center located on the beach in Biloxi, mississippi. You can find more information at christmascitygiftshowcom. Thanks for listening, and if you would like to share your story of what God has done in your life or listen to previous episodes, please visit our website, thepromoterorg. Join us next week for another episode of Get the Hell Out of your Life Real stories, real struggles and real hope. Thank you,