Ernest's Story; Alcohol

Surrender- today on Get the Hell Out of Your Life.

Announcer:
It's time now to Get the Hell Out of your life, a weekly broadcast with real people, sharing real struggles, and offering real hope. Today's show will encourage, inspire, and empower you to face life's challenges with a bold confidence and renewed hope. Now, let's join our host, Ron Meyers, the promoter.

Ron Meyers:
Hello, my friends. When I was a little boy, my brothers and I would play army with the neighbor kids and the winner was always the one who got the other team to wave the white flag of surrender. As an adult, I got myself into some very bad situations, and it wasn't until I waved the white flag of surrender and begged God to help me.

Well, my guest today was in a battle with drugs and alcohol. This battle beat him to just being tired, blackouts, anger, and finally, he didn't care if he lived or died. But one day at three o'clock in the morning, he knew the enemy was about to take his life, so he ripped off his coat of pride, waved the white flag of surrender, and within 24 hours, he and God began the process of restoring, repairing, and rebuilding his life.

Ron Meyers:
My guest is Ernest and his story is going to encourage, inspire, and bring a fresh dose of hope to anyone out there battling with drugs and alcohol. Good morning, Ernest, how are you?

Ernest:
Good morning, Ron. I'm doing quite well. How are you?

Ron Meyers:
I'm doing great and I am thankful that you will share your story with my listeners because you had some battles in your life, didn't you?

Ernest:
Absolutely.

Ron Meyers:
Tell us where are you from? And what was life as a child like?

Ernest:
Ron, I grew up in Gulfport, Mississippi on the Mississippi coast. Had a good childhood in the sense that I played sports, I had friends, I was sociable. At my home life, I'm the youngest of four, so I had three siblings. We had a pretty good childhood. I can say one thing though, fear, anxiety, and I guess a lot of acrimonial arguments, that was our household.

Ron Meyers:
Well, kind of a typical house. I don't know of many houses that don't have a little bit of arguments here and there. How were you in school?

Ernest:
School came pretty easy to me, quite frankly. I was an under-performer, which would later go on. I was an under-performer. I didn't apply myself as well as I should have. I was a fairly good student.

Ron Meyers:
Well, that's good. Were you a happy child? Did you have a good self-esteem and a good image of yourself? Did you know that at that time that you were created for a purpose in life?

Ernest:
Ron's, that's a good question. I was happy when I was playing sports. I was happy when I was with my friends. But I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that... and this is part of what we'll get into later in my recovery, I've later found out but... I was an anxiety ridden kid and I had a lot of fear. That was just-

Ron Meyers:
What were you fearful of?.

Ernest:
... almost everything, the boogeyman.

Ron Meyers:
Fear of the boogeyman.

Ernest:
Almost everything. I always had a fear, a feeling of impending doom, if that makes any sense?

Ron Meyers:
Oh, absolutely.

Ernest:
Yeah, something was going to go wrong. And so that was partly from our household and just made maybe partly from the way I'm wired and made.

Ron Meyers:
What age were you the first time that you had a drink of alcohol?

Ernest:
I was 14 years old. This ties in perfectly to what I was just alluding to. I can remember vividly my first sip of alcohol. A friend of mine and I were outside of this Magic Market in Gulfport, which was in close proximity to my house. I remember the first sip I took, Ron. I guess the only way to adequately describe it to you was I was mesmerized. That's why I was talking about that anxiety. It was that relief. I was transfixed and it took away that insecurity and all of these things that I talked about earlier were gone when I took that step. And so yes, I was-

Ron Meyers:
So you were probably then hooked then, huh?

Ernest:
I was.

Ron Meyers:
You needed more and more because every time you had that, then the little fearful Ernest wasn't there, and it was a more confident and more self-assured Ernest?

Ernest:
That's exactly right. And frankly, Ron, from that first time I drank, I drank to excess. I could not stop. That would be what I would later find out, that is a common trait among us alcoholic addicts. Once we put it in our bodies, it's Russian roulette. What happens is totally luck. Will you make it back? That was my experience from the first time at 14.

Ron Meyers:
I've got to ask this, Ernest. How do you hide that from your parents, and your brothers, and sisters?

Ernest:
Well, I didn't hide it very well. What I did, plenty of my friends, especially as we got older drinking was you'd say prevalent high school and on the coast, just like it is anywhere else for teenage kids. I didn't hide it well. But what I did was rationalize it both to myself and to others, which I became very good at. What you call that manipulate too, by the way. I would rationalize that as everybody drinks, my friends drink and throw up too and I guess my parents just thought, "Well, he's another kid."

Ron Meyers:
Wow, just another kid. He gets a little drunk, throws up a little bit, but hey, that's okay. He'll play baseball tomorrow and it'll all wear off of him. Well, let me ask you something. Was there any part of you at that time that said, "Maybe I shouldn't do this so much"?

Ernest:
Absolutely. Because I'm in a 12 step program and in our Big Book, it talks about, and that was every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. I had that from an early age. I had a relationship with God and I knew what was right from wrong. I was taught that way.

Ron Meyers:
You entered this war field with the anti-God of this world in drugs and alcohol at the age of 14. Then that battle began to grow and grow over a period of your life until the one day you surrendered, is that correct?

Ernest:
21 years later, my friend, yeah.

Ron Meyers:
21 years, that's a lot of time you are battling alcohol and drugs. Now, are you holding down a job at that time? Do you have relationships? Are you married?

Ernest:
Well, I did hold down jobs. But yes, I was able to maintain jobs. That would further allow me to justify my drinking, which was getting worse and worse. This is a progressive illness. When you're blocked, and I was spiritually blocked, that's the truth of it, it gets progressively worse and worse. I continued that for, as we talked about, many, many years, and how I was-

Ron Meyers:
Were you drinking when you woke up in the morning until you went to bed at night? Was there any pause?

Ernest:
Towards the end, I was, absolutely. I became that type of alcoholic.

Ron Meyers:
So you had to have that to survive?

Ernest:
Right, I became dependent on it. It became my master.

Ron Meyers:
What kind of drugs were you doing at the same time?

Ernest:
I did marijuana, cocaine. Quite frankly, I was introduced to that. It allowed me to drink longer. I thought, "Man, this is the greatest thing ever." This is how warped and delusional my thinking was, Ron. This is what happens when Ernest runs the show, and God doesn't run the show. That's how delusional my thinking was.

Ron Meyers:
Listeners, it's time for a break. When we return, Ernest will share his amazing life of God's grace after he surrendered.

Speaker 4:
Some of us are building highways, not with our hands, but with our hearts. We're on a journey that doesn't have an end. It's a rough road, but we know that someday it will be worth every rugged mile. Why don't you join us? We're the Christians. Now I know you've heard a lot of weird things about us, most of it, not true. We don't really care. We just know that we're going to live forever and we can have an abundant life along the way.

Commercial:
Jesus is our guide on this journey called life. He said that he came to give us life that goes on forever and an abundant life. Hey, it's a toll free highway. Jesus already paved the way. All we have to do is come on board. You don't have to be religious. You don't have to be perfect. You just have to accept the fact that Jesus already bridged the way to heaven. Then you have to put him behind the wheel. But when you finally let go and let Jesus take over, it's amazing how you find the journey a lot more peaceful because life without Jesus is kind of like going four wheeling on a skateboard. Takes some time to learn about Jesus. You'll find out how he can build any eternal highway in your heart.

Ron Meyers:
Welcome back, my friends. Today my guest is Ernest, and Ernest started drinking alcohol at age 14. It gave him a confidence. He felt good because he lived in a lot of fear. Well, as he got older, for 21 years, the alcohol increased, the drugs increased, marijuana, cocaine, but he was coming to the end of his rope. Ernest, from what I understand what you submitted to me, it was three o'clock in the morning, you were in a hotel room in Texas, and you finally surrendered. You waved that white flag of surrender and told God you need help. Take me and the listeners through that surrendering part.

Ernest:
Absolutely. And I think, Ron, on the 21 years is actually... So my sobriety date is February 18, 2017, so that may be 19 years and I was wrong on my math earlier. For that, I apologize.

Ron Meyers:
Oh, okay.

Ernest:
You asked earlier about jobs and stuff. Yes, I was able to hold jobs. I was doing well in the oil business and all of that, but the barn was burning down, so to speak, and I knew that. So consequences started to happen. In a progressive disease like alcoholism is, it gets very bad at the end. So before that moment of clarity, the moment God gave me this, I firmly know to save my life, I had to have a lot of pain before that, unfortunately.

Ernest:
You don't have to ride the elevator all the way down. If you're listening, please it's not necessary to do so. There's a solution. And he, God is waiting, he's seeking us. I'm a stubborn alcoholic. It took me a lot of pain and I call it the gift of desperation. That's where I was that night.

Ron Meyers:
I like that. The gift of desperation.

Ernest:
Yes, it is absolutely. That's the paradox, which is like our paradox was surrender. I always thought surrender was weakness. I would come to find out it was the only way for me to be free of the bondage of alcoholism.

Ron Meyers:
Well, you would probably be dead today if you wouldn't have surrendered at three o'clock in the morning, wouldn't you?

Ernest:
I can say with absolute certainty. I can say for probably out of it, Ron, because, at that juncture, I was drinking vodka by myself. This was a nightly routine out in Midland, Texas. It had gotten to a point, I'd get off work and get this vodka and beer, and then all night drink by myself, Ron, and cry, and seriously in tears, wanting to die. Not even wanting to drink, but not being able to stop.

Ernest:
You want to talk about it a real place of darkness, that was it because I had absolutely no solution, was miserable. The drink wasn't working anymore. That's the thing, alcohol, it always turns on you. It wasn't working. I was just drinking to maintain. It was a miserable existence and there was just that moment.

Ernest:
And look, I now work with other guys in my 12 step program and I see this all the time. We get these moments of clarity. We all do. I believe God provides many of them. It's do we walk through them? I didn't walk through them and I didn't choose to do that for many, many years. He did that for me many times. I didn't take advantage of it.

Ernest:
Finally, in a moment of extreme pain, despair, and not caring if I lived or died, I called my brother, John. That's when my life changed. It was the first little bit of willingness I had to say, "Help me. Help me, God."

Ron Meyers:
So you have the ultimate surrender. You cried out, "God help me." You called your brother. Then he began to put motion to put you in a rehab center in Mobile, Alabama, is that correct?

Ernest:
That's correct. "God, please help me. I've tried everything." And trust me, I had tried everything and I finally, I can't do this anymore. That's the biggest moment for any alcoholic or addict because that's humility and I didn't have any of it to say, "I need help." I do that every morning now on my knees, that's how I start my day.

Ron Meyers:
Amen. The courage, Ernest, to share this. And Ernest, I've got to talk to you over the last few days and you're a vibrant person. Your business is doing well. But your faith in God is so important. A lot of people, there might be somebody listening right now, Ernest, that says, "Well, I've got willpower. I'm going to do this on my own. I'm not going to have bring God. It shows a weakness in my life if I can't do this on my own." What would you tell that person?

Ernest:
And look, I can tell him that was me. That is the power of someone else who's been where you've been within me. Look, if you feel like you're hopeless right now, which is where I was in 2017, you're not. I had the same. I bristled at the idea of God, at that time I was at war with God. I just thought there was no hope. There absolutely, absolutely is hope with surrender.

Ron Meyers:
Ernest. There is an excitement in your life today. If somebody asked you, "How do you know God loves you?" What would your response be?

Ernest:
He loves all of us. But the fact that I'm alive, God loves each and every one of us regardless of our choices. I've found that out. You talked about something earlier, Ron, and I'll get back to the question in just a second. But I think it's important. You talked about the greatest thing I've learned is my biggest liability are now my greatest asset. So God has used my experience to be able to help other people. I've been right where they've been. That's the most magical thing of it all but because it flipped it. It completely allows me to use my path to understand somebody sitting across from the table from me go, "Man, that guy gets me."

Ernest:
That's part of God's masterful plan that we don't understand all the time. He loves each and every one of us. And look, if you're struggling today where I was and you feel hopeless, but you're alive, and you're listening, you got a chance. You got a little bit of willingness, you got a chance. The key is always waiting.

Ernest:
We've never done anything that's good enough for him. We're not the ones to decide whether we're worthy of his love. He loves us anyway. The evidence of that is everywhere, Ron. I just couldn't see it. I think everybody will be able to see that if they go through what I've been through. So there's either two ways. People continue to ride this into the gates of insanity or death, that's where I was going before surrender. Just ego and fraud were going to kill me, or I was going to hurt somebody else, or something catastrophic would have happened.

Ernest:
Or surrender, and this life happened. And man, if I could have wrote down the things I would have wanted out of recovery and my relationship with God, which is really what our program and what this is about is getting that connection back. I would have shortchanged myself, Ron. I could go on for hours about the good things that have happened in my life, and not just career-wise, relationship-wise, the most important seriously.

Ron Meyers:
Ernest, what you're finding out is the point of even this radio show. Not only do you have a incredible purpose in now sharing your testimony with other people all over the world, that you got the hell out of your life. When you got the hell out of your life, and God put a little piece of heaven in your life, you realized you could compare the good and the bad. Now you probably don't have any desire, no want to ever go back. Because once you taste a little bit of heaven, you definitely never want to go back to hell.

Ernest:
That's exactly right. You put that so well, Ron. What we call it in our book, our literature calls it the position of neutrality. That's when we're in spiritual fit condition. We don't even think. I can tell you this, Ron. I've stressed about alcohol and drugs every day for 19 years. I mean upset. If I wasn't drinking or drugging, I was thinking about how I was going to get loaded. That obsession has been removed. By God, I did through my 12 step program, which is through God and he removed that. If that's not miraculous, I don't know what that is. Because I have no other explanation for that.

Ron Meyers:
Amen, brother, amen. Hey, listen, you're preaching to the choir. I agree. God is a God of miracles. I know with you being in AA, and we don't want to violate any rules of confidentiality or anything, but somebody out there that may not want to go to church, isn't there an AA chapter just about in every community in the United States of America or probably all around the world?

Ernest:
There is absolutely. In every town and every country, AA has grown. The Big Book was written in 1939 and millions of people it's helped today. It's just about everywhere. I've traveled all over this country and you can find an AA meeting anywhere. I tell you, I just want to emphasize the important thing is because I went to Catholic school. I told you earlier, I bristled at the idea of God. A lot of us alcoholics or addicts when we're at this point, don't want to hear that. AA is not a religious organization. It's a spiritual one.

Ernest:
So I can just tell you, I have a sponsee who is agnostic. We'll call him agnostic. 15 months ago, I spoke at a treatment center in Covington. And I do that around here fairly frequently. I love to give back. I think it's my obligation for what was freely given to me and so I do that. I met a guy there. He heard me speak, reached out to me afterwards.

Ernest:
Kenny is now a part of our home group. We'll be celebrating 16 months, actually celebrating 17 months on the 12th of this month of sobriety. He came in agnostic, as I mentioned. His relationship, as he shared yesterday, when he moderated our nine o'clock meeting, that is totally changed. He gets up in the morning, he meditates, he prays, and God is the guiding force in his life today. This is the guy, I can tell you, did not believe or did not care to believe there was a God, just 16 months ago. What I've seen happen in his life, and with his wife, and his relationship, and everything else is miraculous. God has done this, it ain't us.

Ron Meyers:
Ernest, thank you so much for sharing your story.

Ernest:
Thanks, Ron. I'm very, very grateful. And please, if someone wants to reach out, I'm here. Thank you and God bless,

Ron Meyers:
Listeners, if you would like to get in touch with Ernest, email me, ron@thepromoter.org, and I'll get you his contact information. When I return, my monologue, surrender.

Speaker 4:
Ron will be back in a moment to wrap up today's conversation. We want to encourage you today with God's promise to you. It comes from the book of Jeremiah chapter 29, verse 11, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" That's God's promise to you when you choose to commit your plans and future to him. Now, back to Ron.

Ron Meyers:
Friends, I have been in many battles in life, rejection, termination, doubt, fear, and the list goes on. It always looked like I was going to get crushed, but I never did. I tell a story in my book about Bob, the biker. One night in a dance club, I was stopped by this huge biker. He was talking smack to me. Then he said something that put the fear of God in me. He looked straight into my eyes and said, "Mr. Ron Meyers, I could take you outside right now and kill you."

Ron Meyers:
Well, this was my destiny defining moment. I said a silent prayer. God helped me. Then I took a step towards him, looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Yes, you could. But what would that prove? By the way, Jesus loves you." It got deadly quiet for a minute. It felt like eternity. But then he said, "I want to buy you a drink." I asked him, "Why would you buy me a drink?" He said, "No one has ever stood up to me and I respect you."

Ron Meyers:
Friends, right this very second, there is something staring you right in the face and saying, "I am going to steal, kill, and destroy your hope, your dreams, and your destiny." You feel it, don't you? You are fearful and scared of the future, but what do you do? I'll tell you what to do. You declare in your voice, "I serve a God bigger than my doubts, fear, and insecurities. I will trust in the Lord for strength and power to overcome my self-defeating thoughts."

Ron Meyers:
Friends, in case you haven't noticed, the battle for your mind and soul has begun, and your only weapon is God. God always wins. He never loses. He will triumph in your life, if you surrender, surrender your heart, your mind, and your soul to God, and get busy living, and becoming the person you were created to become. There is no battle too big for your God. Simply begin the surrender by saying, "Dear Jesus. Speak to my heart, change my life. I surrender."

Ron Meyers:
Well, friends, my time is up. I encourage you to check out my Facebook page, ThePromoter.org, where I like to put some inspiration and encouragement.

Announcer:
Today's show was produced by Ron Meyers Ministries, a listener supported ministry. For a copy of today's broadcast, please visit our website, thepromoter.org. And would you prayerfully consider making a tax deductible donation so that we may continue to share stories of God's amazing grace with the world? Join us next week for another broadcast of Get the Hell Out of Your Life, real people sharing real struggles, and offering real hope.

Ron Meyers:
Hi, this is Ron Myers. It is finally finished, my book, The Promoter. It took me three years and well, my story, it is a wild story. I will share things that I have never shared with anyone from my childhood to my days as a promoter. I did anything to make a buck. I was hungry for attention and publicity, and really wasn't a good person. Sex, drugs, and money was driving me. But something happened on the road to become a millionaire. I ran into God. My story is written for you. As you read the book, God will speak to you through the pages, and your dreams will come alive, and hope will be restored. Check out my book, The Promoter. It's available on my website, thepromoter.org, or online at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and iTunes.