Speaker 1: 0:01

It's time now to get the hell out of your life. A weekly broadcast with real people sharing real struggles and offering real hope. Today's show will encourage, inspire and empower you to face life's challenges with a bold confidence and renewed hope. Now let's join our host, ron Myers. The promoter.

Speaker 2: 0:23

Hello friends, thanks for tuning in today. We hope you are having a wonderful day. Ron is taking a few days off. My name is Mark McCraw, I'm Ron's producer and today we're talking about loss. You know there are two types of listeners who tune into this program. One type believes in God and seeks a lot of guidance in life. The other type of listener does not believe in God and possibly just lives life doing the best they can from one day to the next. Recently, ken Leonard and I sat down with Ron for an interview regarding the loss of our wives. Our conversation, hopefully, will provide some insight for believers and non-believers alike regarding loss in life, both from a Christian perspective and a non-Christian perspective.

Speaker 3: 1:09

Give us a little background on you, Ken, and the loss that you experienced.

Speaker 4: 1:13

Local area musician for a lot of years, met my wife who was a singer, so we naturally hit it off. We were both from up north, so we were both two Yankees that kind of found each other down here in the south, helped each other out, fell in love with the people down here and then she had, um, about 10 years worth of cancer, a fight that she had to go through where get cured come back, get cured, come back. We had to live through that. So I lost her the december before christmas, last christmas and, uh, to go through this christmas holidays. It was a little different, so I made it through and I'm going to start my second year without her.

Speaker 2: 1:50

Mark. Yeah, my wife passed in June of 2020 after six years of endometrial cancer, and you know it's tough when you lose your spouse. Patrice was my best friend. She was my lover, my wife, my soulmate, the mom to my kids, and it was very difficult, very challenging.

Speaker 3: 2:11

You know, I said as I opened this that we have two types of listeners those that believe in God and those that don't believe in God. So let me just ask you both how has God helped you through your situation?

Speaker 2: 2:28

Mark, I believe that if I had not had God in my life, you know, there is no way, there is no way that I could have handled her passing, absolutely no way. But because I had God in my life. It's sort of like that poster that you see sometimes in the libraries and the bookstores, where it's two sets of footprints on the sand and the picture is that Jesus is walking with us through life and then all of a sudden you see one set of footprints and the caption is something along the lines of you know, why did Jesus leave me? Well, you know, in my interpretation and I think most people when they see that poster is that Jesus didn't leave us. He actually carried us. You know, and that's what I believe, I believe that God carried me through that time.

Speaker 2: 3:10

After Patrice's passing, you know, and even during her struggle with endometrial cancer, you know the doctor's appointments where we didn't get the diagnosis that we wanted. You know the disappointments of the news, the cancer getting worse and spreading in her body. There is no way that we could have walked through that without God. I mean, psalms tells us that he's our refuge and our strength. Well, refuge, you know, that's a place where you can go and actually sort of hide from your troubles. You know, and he's our strength, he gives us the strength to walk through any difficulties that we face in life. Ken.

Speaker 4: 3:50

The thing that kept me going was just knowing that she was that real tacky expression. Oh well, she's someplace better. Well, yeah, she is someplace better. She's in heaven and she's with God and I think, with my Christian beliefs, it made everything with God and I think, with my Christian beliefs, it made everything much more comfortable while I was here, through their loss, through the bad times, being able to pick up a Bible and read it. And a lot of people are going like, well, the Bible is all fiction or you know, we have such a big population now and it's being taught that it's not. There's so much truth in the Bible.

Speaker 3: 4:22

But the thing is that we're talking today not reading the Bible. We're talking with personal experience. You experienced the can, the peace that God gave you, Mark. You experienced God carrying you. And they may ask well, how do you experience that? You just can tell, you just know that something's different now, and it has to be God. Somebody is helping me through this situation, and that's what I want to convey through today's show is for those of you that have not tried God yet, you don't believe in God. I want you to possibly consider it after you hear from Ken and Mark today. What would you tell someone, Mark, that just lost someone in their life and you start talking to them and then they interrupt you and say, well, wait, hold on a minute, I don't believe in God. What would you tell them? True?

Speaker 2: 5:24

peace in life. True peace in life, can only come from a relationship with Jesus. That's the only place you're going to get it. No other place in the world is not going to give you peace, and when your spouse passes or your child passes or you suffer any kind of a traumatic loss like that, that's the only place you're going to find. Peace is in Jesus.

Speaker 3: 5:49

Ken same question to you.

Speaker 4: 5:51

Yeah, I'd have to say you really need to spend time listening because God will talk to you. Jesus will talk to you. As far-fetched as that seems, he does talk to you and again, that's he does talk to you and again, that's where you get your peace from. But you have to sit down, you have to meet him halfway. It's like meeting a good friend for breakfast in the morning, like we all just did um, and then we all take times listening to each other. It's not just combing, sitting down and demanding something. It's really opening your ears, sitting down and demanding something. It's really opening your ears, learning to listen and really taking the option that, believing the option that, okay, I'm here, talk to me. And again, like Mark said, this is where the true peace comes. If you lose somebody, if you, you know somebody's taken out of your life, the peace you're going to get is not from the world, it's going to be from out of this world, it's going to be from God, it's going to be from Jesus.

Speaker 3: 6:52

I told you this morning that I had a real hard time when I lost my job. I was terminated with no expectation that that was even coming down the pike and I sat in this office, right here where we are, in the studio, and it was a quiet, dark day and I said, lord, why would this happen? Why would you allow this? And I really heard that quiet little voice that you just spoke of, ken, and it said you can't put your identity in your job, which you did, ron. You were a general manager of a radio station. That became your identity, and I bring that up because at one time your identity was a husband, as you said, a spouse, a partner, a lover, all that. And now, how is life different, mark, with for you out there just doing life and you're all alone, you and your son.

Speaker 2: 7:47

That's right. Well, patrice and I adopted a little baby boy when he was first born. He is now 13 years old. He'll be 14 soon. He's in the eighth grade. It's just him and I.

Speaker 2: 7:59

We just do life on a daily basis. I rely on my relationship with Jesus to guide me, because I got to tell you something. I'm 66 years old and my wife was the one who was really good with kids, and I've been sufficient with kids, but she is the one who knew what to do. She was the one who always knew the right thing to say. She was the one who always knew the right thing to say. She was the one who planned the most awesome birthday parties for them. You know, and me, I'm a good provider, you know. I can give my son good direction, you know, but sometimes, when he's having a challenge with something, I don't always know the right thing to say, I do my best, you know, and that's where I have to rely on God to give me some kind of guidance. And sometimes I catch myself going honey, what do I say to him, honey? What do I do?

Speaker 3: 8:54

I remember one time you told me, mark, you know God. I think God always gives us signs just to let us know he's with us, just little winks. And you told me one time that every time you seem to get in the car after a doctor's appointment, that there was always a certain song on the radio.

Speaker 2: 9:13

Yeah, it's. Lauren Daigle is a contemporary Christian artist and she has a song called Thy Will Be Done and this is no joke, no exaggeration at all Every single time we had a doctor's appointment. You know we never got the news we were looking for, but we would get in the car, turn on the radio and that song would be playing Thy Will Be Done. And then, june of 2020, she passes. And for two years I struggled with whether that was God's will and I've come to the conclusion that I think he just didn't want her to suffer anymore.

Speaker 3: 9:49

Well, we pray for healing, right? Well, she got the ultimate healing. The ultimate healing, yeah. What about you, ken? What's life like now? Just you and your little kitty cat, right, and don't you have a dog?

Speaker 4: 10:06

I have a dog and a cat now yeah, exactly, and a lot of really good friends and family that have been very good support. But for anybody who loses somebody, you still go home alone. That's the thing, and your kitty and your dog are there and they kind of distract you. Meow, right, exactly, yeah, that's it Every morning and every night when you're trying to sleep and, uh, the but the thing with you can only get distracted so much and eventually you'll get distracted by the wrong thing. So again, when you have someplace that you're looking other than what's in front of you, if you can, if you grab that belief, that's what's really helped me.

Speaker 4: 10:44

It's sort of like I can't. I'm not smart enough of a person to really keep myself mentally occupied with good things all the time. I really got to have that reminder of God giving me little symbols like, oh yeah, this was a little of her favorite song. Okay, that kind of cheers me up, even though she's not here, and it's just one of those little reminders like, ok, yeah, she's, she's doing good, but I swear you here and God will give you little reminders or little smiles or little twinkles that he's got you and I swear he does. It's, it's, it's amazing.

Speaker 3: 11:19

OK, now let's turn it to the listeners. I want each of you to talk to a listener right now, whether they believe in God or not God, but they lost a dear friend or maybe somebody, a relative, and you can talk to them as a friend to another friend.

Speaker 2: 11:39

Yeah, you know I want to encourage anyone who's listening that, and some may disagree with this, but this is my own experience. You do not have to be saved in order for God to begin to influence your life. And I say that because three months before I actually walked down the aisle and accepted Christ into my life, One Saturday morning, I just found myself reading the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew, chapter five, and I perceived this voice in my mind saying if you will just follow me, everything will be all right. And at that time my wife at the time was filing for divorce and this is a wife before Patrice, Correct, you know and I was faced with having to move out of the house, you know, and just start all over again. And my daughter was four years old and my wife and I had been together for 10 years. I was not yet saved. But yet at that time I really believe that God spoke to me, saying if you'll just follow me, everything will be all right.

Speaker 3: 12:41

It's like he was preparing you for something coming up. Exactly, that's exactly my point, ken. What would you tell someone out there that is experienced in a loss through a family member, or maybe even themselves? Give them some hope and some comfort.

Speaker 4: 12:56

I would say yeah. I would say that I'm not going to tell you that things are going to be easy or things are going to get smoother, but there's. If you there's, this may be a time for you to find your own quiet time and be able to actually find joy in a talk with God. You don't even have to be born again yet, because he'll talk to you. You don't have to be any kind of believer whatsoever. But, believe it or not, if you can find quiet time and still yourself, I promise he'll talk to you and I promise he'll give you better advice than I could ever give, and just knowing that there's something there is what's going to help get you through.

Speaker 3: 13:39

And we, as believers, have the greatest hope, and I want to end it on this we have the greatest hope we are going to be together again with our loved ones.

Speaker 4: 13:52

Always.

Speaker 3: 13:53

Yep, and I said, listen, even if I had a hesitation about believing in God, I might believe in God just so I can go see my family. I might have to try out this Jesus because I want to see my family again. And hey, that's fine, you can come to Jesus like that. He'll do the rest. He actually created the world so he can handle your insecurities out there. What do you think you have hope out there? What do you think you have hope? You're sad but yet you're excited because one day you're all going to be together for eternity, not just 30, 40, 50 years.

Speaker 2: 14:25

Exactly and think about it like this If you don't have hope, what do you have in life? What do you have If you don't have hope? Hope for anything, hope for a future, hope for salvation, hope that you don't spend eternity in separation from God. If you don't have hope, you don't have anything.

Speaker 3: 14:44

You know, when you said that, mark, I had this image in my mind of a pinball machine. And if you don't have hope, you're like that little ball that goes from ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. It goes all over the place. Yeah, yeah, it never rests anywhere. It has all over the place. Yeah, yeah, it never rests anywhere. It has nothing to rest on. It's always finding a place to fit into. But with God we fit in, even with all the weird stuff in this world and all the crazy things that happen in all of our lives. He's there, as you said earlier, with us, carrying us, cheering us on, encouraging us. You know, sometimes, friends, we hear a lot about God and judgment and punishment and all this, and those are before Jesus days but we don't hear enough about. He's our friend, he's an encourager, he's a motivator. He doesn't walk around with a report card and a clipboard every day grading this. He walks around loving the hell out of our lives, doesn't he?

Speaker 2: 15:41

Exactly right, and you said a word a moment ago that I think is key is rest. Rest when you have hope that you can only get from Jesus and a relationship with God. That you get rest If you are burdened with the troubles in your life, the loss that you have faced. If you are burdened with that and you cannot get sleep at night, you find yourself dragging every day. You can actually get rest for your spirit by a relationship with Jesus.

Speaker 3: 16:11

I think of a guest I had on here one time and friends, it's a great podcast to listen to John Boy. He said that he was getting ready to go to prison and he saw all these Christians on one side of the room the night before, just happy singing and praising, and he said I couldn't understand, Ron, I didn't know about God and no one ever told me about God. But we're all going to jail and yet these Christians are happy. And all he did is that night he went out on his porch to sleep. That night he looked up in the sky and he said hey, dude, if you're real, I need some of that joy and his life changed. So there's no magic prayer, there's no sinner's prayer in the Bible, it's just calling on. Hey, dude, he knows who you mean. Hey, Jesus, I need a little bit of help here. And I tell people test him, If you're real, I need some peace. If you're real, give me a sign. He does that. What do you think, Ken?

Speaker 4: 17:11

No, I agree you had said earlier about losing your job, and we get so gobsmacked when we lose things our favorite car jobs, people that we know and that shows you that maybe your relationship to earth and everything that's going around is a little too strong and maybe what you really need to do is work on not who you are on earth, but who you are with God. And I think that's the thing that made the difference was like you know, I'm not my job, I'm not, I'm not even really good at my job. I kind of go and fake it, and I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. I wasn't the best husband because I'd be cranky, but you know what, and by earth standards are something else, but by God's standards, he really wants to be your friend, he really wants to be with you and it's just like just give him the hey dude speech and that's that's it.

Speaker 3: 18:09

Hey, like the old commercial for years ago, I'll tell my age try it.

Speaker 2: 18:13

You'll like it.

Speaker 3: 18:17

Well, Mark, will you close us out in prayer for the listeners and for anyone out there that has lost anything or you're going through something right now. Mark, will you pray?

Speaker 2: 18:28

Our Father in heaven. Lord, god, I thank you for this time. God, I thank you for everyone who's listening right now. Lord, you have proven to me and shown me that you will reach anyone. You will reach anyone, no matter their circumstance, their situation.

Speaker 2: 18:45

Father, you call us by name. You are the one who draws us to you and, lord, I just ask you just to reach out and call these listeners by name. I ask you, father, to touch their heart, touch their mind, father, that they can perceive you. And, lord, that if they're going through difficulties in life, no matter what it is addictions, abuse, the loss of loved ones, loss of a job Father, I just ask you just to reach out and touch them and let them know, father, that you can carry them, that you can get them through their difficult times, that you can give them strength and peace and that you can give them a hope in a relationship with Jesus. Father, I just thank you, lord, for everyone who's listening. I ask you, god, to bless them, strengthen them in every way, give them peace supernaturally. Give them peace and I thank you for it, God. We claim it right now in Jesus' name Amen. Coming up some thoughts about handling loss in our life.

Speaker 1: 19:58

You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life with your host, ron Myers. Real stories, real struggles and real hope. Ron.

Speaker 5: 20:07

Myers real stories, real struggles and real hope. What's your story? We're looking for stories of hope and overcoming life's struggles with God's grace. Your story validates God's love, mercy, restoration and forgiveness. We want to help you share your story with the world. Visit our website, thepromoterorg, and click on the share your story link and submit your story. Your testimony of God's amazing grace will change a person's destiny for eternity.

Speaker 2: 20:37

You know, no matter who you are, we all experience loss of some sort. Loss is one of the hardest experiences we face in life. My name is Mark and this is the Journey, whether it's the passing of a loved one, the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, loss can leave us feeling broken and questioning God's purpose in our life. We will all experience loss at one time or another. But the big question is how do you handle your loss? I think about the Bible story of Job. You know, job lost everything he had his livestock, his wealth, his children, wife and home all in one day. I cannot even imagine going through a loss that extreme. But Job did something incredible he worshiped God. He did not deny his grief. In fact, he mourned his losses deeply. He didn't understand why he was suffering, but he held on to his faith and chose to trust in God. When we face loss in our life, we must understand that it's okay to grieve, it's okay to feel the weight and sorrow of our loss, but we're also called to trust that God is still in control. Even when we don't see the full picture, our pain is not the end of the story. You see, god is always working on our behalf and he promises to bring restoration in His perfect timing. Romans chapter 8 tells us that for those who love God and are called according to His purpose, he is working things together for our good. So be encouraged today that in your loss, god is with you and will never leave you. He is already working to strengthen you for tomorrow. Thanks for joining us today.

Speaker 2: 22:59

My name is Mark, and Ron asked me to finish up today's broadcast. You know we will all experience loss at some point in our lives, but how we handle loss may be determined by the importance we place on that which we lost. Sometimes we tend to place more value on relationships and the things in this world than we do on our relationship with Almighty God. The reality is that the only permanent God, the reality is that the only permanent, everlasting thing in this life, is our spiritual relationship with God, our Father in heaven. Everything else is temporary.

Speaker 2: 23:35

Job said of his loss naked I came from my mother's womb and naked shall I return there. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. In times of great loss, we've got to learn to trust God and not lean on our own understanding. We can never really understand why God would take a loved one from us, or why things happen in our lives the way they do, but we can trust that God is always with us and will never leave us. We must also remember all of God's benefits to us. He forgives all our sins, heals our diseases, redeems us from spiritual death and leads us to all the wonderful things of life. We can't control the events of our life. No one knows what tomorrow will bring.

Speaker 1: 24:37

But if we learn to let the peace of God rule in our heart and mind, then the sting of loss is not as great.

Speaker 5: 24:41

If you want to know what the future holds, get in touch with the one who holds the future.

Speaker 3: 24:45

Stop wasting time and get a hold of God.

Speaker 1: 24:47

It's not about earning points by being good. It ain't about some boring church. It's not about working your way to heaven. Finding God is not about following some group who claims to be the only way to God. It's not about being religious. It's not about religion. It's all about God's only son. It's all about Jesus.

Speaker 5: 25:03

It's all about Jesus. It's all about Jesus, it's about Jesus Christ and it's all about you.

Speaker 3: 25:09

It's all about you, Jesus.

Speaker 5: 25:12

Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father, but by me.

Speaker 1: 25:19

Well, someday, when I stand before God and he asks me why should I let you into heaven? All that's going to matter is if I knew Jesus or not.

Speaker 2: 25:27

And that's what it's all about, ron. We'll be back in a moment to wrap up today's conversation. We want to encourage you today with God's promise to you. It comes from the book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. That's God's promise to you when you choose to commit your plans and future to Him. Well, friends, our time is up. Thanks for tuning in today. We hope today's show will help you deal with any loss you may be experiencing in your life, and if you'd like to hear previous episodes of the show, just go to thepromoterorg. Until next time, remember that God loves you, jesus loves you and we love you. And when you let Jesus get the hell out of your life, life gets good.

Speaker 1: 26:37

Today's show is proudly underwritten by the Christmas City Gift Show. Mark your calendars for November 7th through the 9th and experience the magic inside the Christmas City Gift Show inside the Mississippi Coast Convention Center located on the beach in Biloxi, mississippi. For more information, visit ChristmasCityGiftShowcom. If you would like to be a guest and share your story of God's amazing grace, visit our website, thepromoter, and click the Share your Story tab button. Thanks for listening and if you would like to listen to previous episodes, click on the podcast tab at thepromoterorg. Join us next week for another edition of Get the Hell Out of your Life Real stories, real struggles and real hope.

Speaker 2: 27:23

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